Yonside Lunacy, Aeris
by NekyuToi
Summary: After Yuffie Kisaragi receives a letter from some mysterious person, she starts to suspect that Aeris may not be the goodytwo shoes freak that everyone thinks so...


Yonside Lunacy, Aeris

Thank you for taking time to read this fan-fiction based on Final Fantasy VII! I wanted to do a fanfic with a weird story like Tales of the Unexpected. Final Fantasy is owned by Squaresoft, so you know what that means.

Chapter I:

I received the letter on the twenty-third of August. Addressed to me, I wondered who had sent it; it was a plain white envelope with the name Kisaragi written across the front in large italic letters. I hadn't usually received post before as we were always travelling around in search of Sephiroth... but someone must have known where I was (sleeping in the back of the buggy Cloud had acquired from that muscly bloke, Don. When I awoke from the back seat it was because of Aeris' awful singing; someone had given her the wheel and in turn she had shoved one of her bloody songs in the tape player. Rubbing my head I found the letter placed on my lap. I obviously kept it to myself... I didn't want anyone else to know because it may have been personal... or a love letter from Cloud! I do wish it were a love letter now... it would have changed the events that unfolded at that deserted village... and I would have rubbed it in that bitch Aeris' face!

The letter was written in sloppy handwriting, so I assumed it was Cloud, but after reading it I found that it was not so. The letter said...:

Yuffie,

Don't trust Aeris; although you thought the spy was Cait Sith it was actually Aeris. She is using tropical plants she found in Corel Desert to control Cait's way of thinking!

SHE IS OUT TO GET ALL OF YOU. SHE IS SEPHIROTH'S ALLY.

Sincerely,

Anon.

To be honest, I was not very surprised that Aeris' was a mega-bitch spy, but I had to tell someone, of course! I wanted to tell Cloud ever so badly, but he gets into such horrible states whenever something bad happens with a bird. Only a few nights before he was in my room at Kalm crying and eating chocolates when Tifa ignored him at lunch after he laughed at Cid's sexist joke about driving. Instead, I decided to confide this news to Barret, seeing as he was the REAL group leader.

Barret acted in a way I had never seen before after I had told him the news. Instead of running around swearing and trying to murder Aeris he just sat down in rubbed his temples in anguish. He had trusted all of his party, apart from Cait Sith, and didn't expect this kind of bomb shell.

"You sure we can trust this letter, Yuff?" he asked, his voiced lowered and broken. I shook my head and pondered for a while. Maybe I was ahead of myself; I didn't have to believe what the letter said, it could have all been a horrible plan by Sephiroth to turn us against each other.

"I don't know.." I said, as soft as possible so I wouldn't aggravate him. "..we should search for proof. As we are staying at the Golden Saucer inn, why don't we simply go through all her stuff and look for evidence? Barret thought it was do as a plan for now but told me not to tell anyone else yet. I was excited, I felt like an undercover police bird like on The Bill... and I wanted to take back the brush that she had 'borrowed' from me like a hundred years ago!

Barret told me to meet him at Aeris' room at 12 midnight the following night, but when I turned up I met up with Cid too! Barret had told him; I don't know why, they were just probably best friends. Ignoring my complaints at spilling the beans on the plan ("It'll go faster, Yuff!" he retorted) we went inside her room and started searching around. Cid was not much help, all he did was go through Aeris' underwear draw and exclaim he was searching for evidence. It looked to me like he was pretending to be a sniffer dog, to be honest...

In Aeris' room we found three things. The first thing was the black materia that Sephiroth had stolen from Cloud... that was proof enough for all of us; now we knew she was in league with Sephiroth. The other two things were my comb and a big wad of cash, obviously used by Sephiroth to lure Aeris into his web of doom and destruction. I hated Aeris more than I could say, but still... I felt sick as anything; I didn't expect anyone to turn in the party and backstab us like this... what did we do to deserve this?

The next day, after me, Cid and Barret had got some rest, we decided to tell Cloud. A few hours before however, Aeris had vanished, just like that! The bitch.

Chapter II:

We later discovered that she was in the deserted village praying for something or other... at least, that is what we learnt from that old pervert Bugenhagen. We set off immediately to find her; me, Cid and Barret wanted to strangle her and Cloud obviously just wanted to save then shag her. We couldn't let her hold on him continue any further though, so we told him. At first it was all right... he just sat there, staring into space saying "I see." a lot. Then the tears came, then the chocolates, then the hugs and then the alcohol. The alcohol bit was fun.. I got to drink a lot that night without any questions; to see Cloud break down like a little girl was not all right though. I saw Cloud as marriage material before, but in reality he is just a bleach blonde cry-girl, hardly worthy of my affection! So my FRIEND Cloud knew the truth, and after the tears had stopped he decided the only plan of action: he was going to murder Aeris to stop her praying on the black materia Sephiroth had nicked from him. She wasn't praying for holy, the lying tart; Aeris was praying for that BLACK materia!

We reached the place just in time to find Aeris kneeling down with her hands in front of her face. I would not be surpried if this wasn't the first time she knelt in that positiong with her hands in her face, but it wasn't the time for jealousy, it was the time for action. Cloud went ahead of us and told us to stay put as he drew his sword. Like he was possessed, he walked right up to her, drew his sword, raised it above his head and brought it down, but before he could cleave her in half we all shouted at him to stop. It wasn't like we had wanted to save her, but we saw something coming from the sky! It was Sephiroth. As Cloud backed away we all saw what happened next. It was pretty funny, and I bet you know what it was.

After all was said and done and Aeris was shoved in some pissy water we decided to leave in search for Sephiroth again. We had abolished the bitch spy and now continued on our journey, free of worries now that she was dead. I had said my goodbyes the moment I had found out she was a mega bitch, and I looked forward to seeing Sephiroth die too.

I wanted to speak with Cloud, to see how he was doing, but I couldn't find him in his room at the Golden Saucer. I suppose he was distraught about losing one of our party so I searched around the rest of the Golden Saucer; blokes are easier to control when emotionally distressed. Eventually, after searching almost every bloody nook and cranny I found him! Trust me to look in every place except the one he is in until the last moment. I found him not in distress, but actually happy. He didn't know I was watching him from behind a Moogle Arcade machine, but he seemed to be talking on the PHS thingy. I couldn't believe what I had heard.

"...yes... I understand. Although she was a liability she still seemed devoted. ...a great job, and not a speck of blood, so don't worry! What? Sorry, I can't hear you."

I quickly ducked to get out of his feild of vision as he turned and walked a few metres to the left, finger plugging the disused ear.

"Well if I'm found out you can kill me too, Sephy, ahaha..."

My face went red. Was he talking to Sephiroth?! I pushed my back up to the Moogle machine in disbelieve and winced as the motion detection machine caught me in its sensors.

"KUPO! I want some fun, KUPO!" it said. I stopped breathing as Cloud stopped talking and I felt his eyes upon my direction. Should I run? Stay and fight? I didn't know what to do, so acted on instinct; I ripped my top opened and stood up in front of him, lips puckered.

We all sat in the buggy now, the whole party; except Aeris. It was a gorgeous day and the sun was about to set soon. Me and Cloud were on good terms, and for some money each day I was paid to keep the party in check to make sure they didn't get too close to finding Sephiroth. Maybe it's not good of me to have turned so easily... but it's so much better than acting like I give two shits about this world!


End file.
